"Alone or just Mistaken!!!"

I was just passing by the street near Mountjoy Square on my way home when I spot this add, it was interesting because the day I saw this was exactly when I turn 32 years old, (Wednesday, 21st of November) I took one day pounding and reflecting about it until I was in college yesterday when I heard these phase while watching a episode of Fair City.


"You don't stop having fun because you are old, you get old when you stop having fun"

For a long time I felt that I was older then my own age and for that I took upon one aspect quite different of the general opinion, "I am not getting old I am getting wiser", that was fine and wasn't the problem, but for ages and I mean ages because it felt like thousands of years I was in fear of being alone and never had the opportunity to discover what it is to be with someone or share something especial.

The thing is I had something special and from that I got into this new thinking that I sharing here now, from  that experience I took again another 180 º in my life (I like to say that a lot @!@). I not going to get into the detail because it was a personal journey that I had, but what I am telling is how I change the prospective of seen myself during that time.

This is coming from a guy that spend quite a while in depression (not having fun) and then when I thought that I was complete (having fun) events trow my life upside down, and I went back to the old place of depression for a while until it hit me. I was complete all along and not broken or missing pieces, the prospective of being alone was a Illusion, there are over 7 billion of people in this planet how can I be alone? 

I understood that there are loads and loads of different concept for being alone, and I am not here to discredit the add above, but to say here my way to view these so called problem!, We are used to the fact that we need others to tell us what we are (eg: when we ask our friends... Am I doing the right thing?) or we used others as reference to describe ourselves (eg: when you going to meet someone new and you introduce yourself... I am friends with Mary, or I am John's cousin) but in truth you are the one who define yourself, I took months if not years to realize this and still working on it but no matter how many years you spend on this it is you who describe your way to see life.

The first step we take is being aware of that, and from there you start to find more and more different meanings to the word alone, you see that it is not outside intervention that is the problem but the inside concept that we are used to drive our lives, that's where it comes the word Mistaken, no one likes to be wrong when saying or expressing ourselves, but to discover that you have been wrong on the way you see you life is the key here.

Finding out that we have being wrong to ourselves is scary believe me I know, but as more frequent you ask yourself the question the more used to the feeling you get and more understanding comes from this self awareness.

We try so hard to connect with the outside world that we forget the most important connection ever... the connection with yourself. How many time we felt depressed or disillusion from the fact that others didn't do what we wanted? I highlighted there the last phase to explain, wasn't the fact that other didn't do it that put us into depression, it was OUR expectation from it that led to this feeling.

I am gonna stop here because it is starting to sound like a psychology class but I think I passed on what I intended, self awareness if the focus point and the key for life...

Enjoy yourself ;-)

Gean Anderson de Lima